Valentines Day 2010

Make a Smilebox photobook

Biting Our Friends :(

Biting has reared it's ugly head again. We will do everything we can to prevent bites... With that said, it only takes a sec. for someone to unexpectedly bite. (As a few of you have seen) When we know that someone is biting we will shadow them and keep them with us. We will also be using Time-Outs away from the activities of their friends. Just wanted to share some info on Biting.
When children bite someone while at childcare, it is a serious problem. Parents often become upset or angry. They at times blame childcare providers for the biting, stating they should watch the children more closely so the children cannot bite others. The truth is, children can bite someone even under close adult supervision. Another problem that arises from childhood biting is the spread of biting. Once a child has been bitten, they too learn to bite. Because of this, a child who has been bitten may in turn bite another child. In this way, biting is “contagious”. Once there is more than one child biting at a childcare, it becomes quite difficult for a childcare provider to get the children to stop biting. Things become even worse when a child is bruised, has broken skin, or is in some way injured as a result of being bitten. When this happens, parents become angry and can make things difficult for the childcare provider. It is not uncommon for parents to remove their children from the childcare as a result of biting incidents.

It can be very stressful for childcare providers when having a child removed from their care under such circumstances. Stress occurs for several reasons.

· Childcare providers are typically very attached to the children they care for. Because of this, childcare providers feel bad when children they care for are taken from their care.

· Childcare providers count on the income they receive from taking care of children. Having a child abruptly removed from childcare imposes a financial hardship on childcare providers.
Biting another child is one of the more unacceptable, aggressive behaviors in our society. The parent of the child who has been bitten is usually upset and worried about the risk of infection. If biting happens in a day care setting, the other parents may want the biter to be expelled. If it happens in someone else's home, the child is often told never to return. Adults tend to forget that some biting behavior in a group of toddlers is to be expected.

Causes

Children usually discover biting by chance when they are about 1 year old and teething. Most children first learn to bite by biting their parents in a playful manner. It is important to try to interrupt this primitive behavior at this early stage. The biting often continues because the parents initially think it is cute and the child considers it a game to get attention.

Later, children may bite when they are frustrated and want something from another child. At an age when children have minimal verbal skills, biting becomes a primitive form of communication. Only after a child is 2 or 3 years old does biting become a deliberate way to express anger and intimidate others.

Recommendations

Establish a rule: "We never bite people."
Give your child a reason for the rule, namely that biting hurts.

Other reasons (that won't interest a young child) are that bites can lead to infection or scarring.

Suggest a safe alternative behavior.
Tell your child that if he wants something he should come to you and ask for help or point to it. He should not bite the person who has it. If your child bites when he is angry, tell him, "If you are mad, come to me and tell me before you bite anyone."

If your child is at the chewing age (usually less than 18 months), help him choose a toy that he can bite rather than tell him that he cannot bite anything. A firm toy or teething ring will do. Encourage him to carry his "chewy" with him for a few days.

Interrupt biting with a sharp "No."
Be sure to use an unfriendly voice and look your child straight in the eye. Try to interrupt her when she looks as if she might bite someone before she actually does it. Especially close supervision of your child may be necessary until you are sure he/she will no longer bite people.

Give your child a time-out when he/she bites people.
Send him/her to a boring place for approximately one minute per year of age.

If he/she tries to bite you while you are holding him/her, say "No." Always put him/her down immediately and walk away (a form of time-out). If time-out does not work, take away a favorite toy for the rest of the day.

Never bite your child for biting someone else.
Biting back will make your child upset that you hurt him/her and may teach him/her that it is okay to bite if you're bigger. Also, do not wash your child's mouth out with soap, pinch or pop his/her cheek, or slap his/her mouth. In fact, if your child tends to be aggressive, avoid physical punishment in general (for example, spanking).

Also eliminate "love-bites" because your child will not understand how they are different from painful biting.

Praise your child for not biting.
Praise your child especially when he/she is in situations in which he used to bite or when he is with children whom he/she used to bite. Remind your child gently not to bite before you embark on a high-risk visit. Then if he/she doesn't bite, praise him afterward for good behavior.

Biting in child care settings.
Biting behavior is common in child care settings. The preceding approach should be used by day care staff to eliminate the behavior in their setting. Provide careful supervision and quickly place the biting child in time-out, even when he/she acts like he/she might bite someone. In general biting is harmless since most bites by younger children don't puncture the skin. Calling the parent at work is pointless since the problem should be dealt with immediately by whomever witnesses it.

Prevention

The best time to stop biting behavior from becoming a habit is when the biting first starts. Be sure that no one laughs when your child bites and that no one, including older siblings, treats biting as a game. Also never give in to your child's demands because of biting. Make sure that day care providers understand your approach and are willing to follow it.What to Do About Biting?
ParentLink, 4-H/Youth Development, University of Missouri-Columbia

Many young children go through a biting phase that is troubling to parents. Time usually solves the problem, although there are things parents can do to help prevent and solve this problem.

1. Why does my child bite?

Biting happens for many reasons with different children in a variety of circumstances. Here are a few reasons why children bite:

Exploration: Children learn by touching, smelling, hearing, and tasting. Biting is another way to explore the world.
Cause and effect: Children at this age are exploring what happens when they do something; that curiosity includes biting. They may not realize that biting can hurt others.
Attention: Children may bite to get attention. Biting is quick way to become the center of attention, even if it is negative attention.
Imitation: Children may see other children biting and decide to try it themselves.
Independence: Children at this age are trying hard to be independent. Biting can be a quick way to get a toy you want, or example, or to make another child leave.
Frustration: Growing up can be stressful, especially for young children who don’t have control of their bodies yet and have not yet learned to find the words to express their feelings. At times, children may resort to hitting, pushing, or biting when they don’t have the ability to talk about their frustration.
Stress: A child’s world can be stressful. Biting can be a way to express feelings and relieve tension that results from stressful events such as a divorce, death of a pet, or starting a new preschool.
Self-defense: Some children bite because other children have bitten or shown aggression toward them.

2. Is biting common in children?

Many children between the ages of 14 months and 3 years go through a biting phase that usually disappears when they can express their needs and feelings through words. Parents who stay calm, respond appropriately, and encourage children to express themselves with words instead of biting can help guide children through this phase.

3. What can I do to stop my child from biting?

Determining when and why children bite can also help solve the problem. For instance, does the biting usually occur when a child is tired or hungry? Does the child always bite the same person? Does the biting usually occur at daycare when children want the same toy?

If biting occurs when two young children want the same toy, buying a second toy may help until children are old enough to learn to share. Children who are biting one another can be redirected to separate activities until this phase passes.

If biting occurs with a major change in a child’s life, such as starting a new preschool, he or she may need extra love and attention during this time.

Watch for signs of rising frustration in your child and take action to prevent conflicts such as biting from happening. Young children can be distracted and redirected to other activities to prevent biting incidents.

4. Will biting behavior just go away if I ignore it?

Children will move through this phase as they develop more effective social skills, but parents can help by responding appropriately and teaching their children better ways to express their feelings using words. Close supervision during this time period in order to be able to act quickly to resolve problems will also help children work through the biting phase.

5. How can my child care provider and I help solve my child’s biting problem?

Parents and day care providers can work together as a team to problem solve and respond with consistency to your child’s biting. Team members can work together to identify possible reasons for your child’s biting and respond appropriately. Communicating together and comparing observations at home and at daycare can help you solve this problem together.

6. Are there ways I can prevent my child from biting?

Parents can encourage children to express themselves in words. The more they can put their feelings into words (“I’m mad. I want the truck.” “I’m sad. I can’t find my bear.”), the less apt children will be to bite.

Parents can help children understand that people experience a wide array of feelings, and there are many ways to express those feelings. Share your feelings—frustration, joy, sadness, fear, envy, contentment, pride—in words with your children so they will model this behavior. Talk to your children about their feelings and help them put feelings into words.

Help children see that there are many ways to express feelings both in words and in other ways. For instance, if they feel sad or lonely, children can hug a stuffed animal or cuddle with a pet. If children feel frustrated, they can express their emotions through drawing pictures or throwing frisbees in the park. Children can also learn that music expresses a variety of feelings.

Another effective way to prevent biting and other behaviors is to praise children for beginning to learn to share and interact with other children. When children show signs of learning social skills such as saying “Thank you,” showing patience, sharing with other children, or indicating they are aware of other people’s needs, be sure to tell them you are proud of them.

7. My child’s biting of other children has become severe; so far nothing seems to work. What do I do?

A child with a severe biting problem may need to be removed from social situations involving other children for awhile. Your child may also need to be closely observed by an adult who can step in to prevent biting when necessary and help guide your child to learn more appropriate ways to cope with frustration such as using words to express feelings or choosing another activity. If your child continues biting beyond the age of three, professional help may be needed.

8. My grandmother tells me I should just bite my child if he bites me. Should I do this?

Never hit or bite a child for biting. This communicates that biting is an acceptable way to work out problems, even if it hurts others.

If a biting incident occurs, stay calm and respond quickly. Give the child who was been bitten your attention first, tend to the wound, and reassure him or her. Then turn your attention to your child, who did the biting. Calmly and firmly tell your child that he or she is not allowed to bite and that biting hurts. “Emma is crying because her hand hurts where you bit her.”

As both children are likely be upset by the incident, give each a comforting hug and then redirect them to a quiet activity so that both have time to calm down. Wait a few minutes and then talk with your child about what caused his or her frustration and how he might express his feelings differently in the future. A hug will reassure a young child you still love him while biting is not acceptable.